Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph provides the data about the proportion of jobs in four categories of the economy in the US during the period of 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is the data of employment in various economical sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) in the US. The manufacturing is on the peak overall and slightly dipped down at the end year. Conversely, the agriculture remained at the bottom level throughout the years.

To begin with the manufacturing that was overall on high point with 15million jobs in the starting year of 1960 and hit its peak in 1980 with 20million work opportunities. Then it gradually dropped at the end years. Retail started with 6million employments opportunities and raised a significant rate with 15million jobs in the year of 2000.

Healthcare began with 2million work chances in the starting year that steadily rose up at 5million in 1980 and then a considerable rise could be seen which was 16million jobs at the year of 2020. Agriculture showed no significant change in this period as it just dropped numbers from 6million to 2million at the last decade.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons. However, the report could be improved by ensuring the data points are more precise. For example, you mention manufacturing hit 20 million in 1980, but the graph shows it closer to 25 million. Additionally, the overview is slightly repetitive as it restates the prompt's information. To reach a higher band, focus on synthesizing the data rather than just listing figures, and ensure your data extraction is highly accurate to the provided visual.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Conversely', 'To begin with', and 'Then', which help the flow of information. However, the paragraphing is a bit disjointed; the second paragraph acts as a second introduction rather than a summary of trends. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that transitions between sentences are smoother. Some of your linking phrases are a bit mechanical, so try to vary them to improve the overall cohesion of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, such as 'proportion', 'opportunities', and 'significant'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, 'economical sectors' should be 'economic sectors', and 'hit its peak' is acceptable, but 'work chances' is not standard academic English. You also rely on some repetitive phrasing like 'starting year' and 'end years'. Expanding your range of synonyms for trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', 'surpassed') would help demonstrate a more flexible and precise command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'it is the data of employment' (should be 'it shows employment data') and 'raised a significant rate' (should be 'rose significantly'). There are also issues with article usage and prepositions, such as 'at the end years' instead of 'in the final years'. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing trends over time. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy will help you achieve a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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