Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph depicts the information about a few number of jobs above all the 4 sectors of economy in the US, between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, most of the jobs are in favor of manufacturing sector and least in the agriculture sector.

To commence with, in year 1960 to 1980 there were 15 to 20 million jobs in manufacturing sector, 17.5 million jobs in 2000, and 13 million in year 2020, retail business was about 6 million jobs in year 1960, then rose a bit to 10 million in 1980, 15 million in 2000, and the peak was at16 million jobs in 2020.

In addition, healthcare was low about 2.5 million in year 1960 then kept rising to 5 million in 1980, 11 million in 2000, the peek was at 16 million jobs in healthcare over the past 60 years, as agriculture was 6 million jobs in 1960 then kept getting down to around 2 million in 60 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that 'most jobs are in favor of manufacturing' is misleading, as the graph shows manufacturing declining while other sectors like healthcare and retail grew significantly by 2020. The data reporting is somewhat mechanical, listing figures without sufficient synthesis or comparison between the sectors. To improve, you should focus on grouping the sectors by their trends (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined) rather than listing them chronologically, which would provide a more analytical summary of the data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive and mechanical (e.g., 'To commence with', 'In addition'). Some transitions are awkward, such as the sudden shift in the final paragraph where you connect healthcare and agriculture with 'as', which creates a run-on sentence that is difficult to follow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would enhance the logical flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic verbs like 'rose', 'kept rising', and 'getting down'. There are also some minor errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'peek' instead of 'peak' and 'a few number of jobs', which is redundant. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surpassed', or 'remained stable', and ensure you use these terms with correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For instance, 'in year 1960 to 1980' should be 'between 1960 and 1980', and 'above all the 4 sectors' is an unnatural prepositional phrase. There are also issues with article usage ('the manufacturing sector') and tense consistency. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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