Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about number of jobs in four sectors of the economy; Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

To begin with, Manufacturing sector has the highest proportion in 1960 with 15 million jobs and showed a substantial growth till 1980 and reached upto 20 millions, however from 1980 to 2020 this sector has dipped gradually over the years and ended the year 2020 with approximately 13 million jobs. Whereas, in beginning of 1960 the Healthcare sector started with approximately 2 million jobs and increased rapidly over the years and managed to climb approximately 16 million jobs by end of 2020. Furthermore, Agriculture and Retail sectors begin the year 1960 with exact same number of jobs which is about 6 million. In addition, the agriculture sector has shown a downward trend over the year and ended the 2020 with approximately 1 million jobs. Whereas, the Retail sector has shown a upward trend throughout the years and climbed to almost 16 million jobs by the end of 2020.

Overall, with all the clear perspective Retail and Healthcare sectors are more successful throughout the years, followed by Manufacturing sector. Moreover, Agriculture sector has taken a significant downfall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. You successfully highlighted the key features, such as the decline in Manufacturing and Agriculture versus the growth in Healthcare and Retail. However, the overview is slightly weak; while you mention the sectors that were 'more successful,' it would be more effective to explicitly state the overarching trend of the shift from industrial/agricultural jobs to service-based ones. The data points are generally accurate, though ensure you use precise terminology when describing trends, such as 'peaked at' rather than 'reached upto'. Overall, the task is well-addressed with a clear summary of the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, body paragraphs, and an overview. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Whereas,' and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the sectors by their trends (e.g., those that increased vs. those that decreased) rather than listing them individually. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother to avoid a list-like feel. The overall progression is logical, and the information is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'substantial growth,' 'dipped gradually,' and 'downward trend.' There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'in beginning of 1960' (should be 'at the beginning of') and 'the agriculture sector has taken a significant downfall' (downfall is usually used for people or institutions; 'decline' is better for data). You attempt to use less common vocabulary, which is good, but ensure collocations are natural. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and adverbs would help elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('the' Manufacturing sector) and preposition errors ('in 1960' is fine, but 'at the beginning of 1960' is more precise). You also have some issues with verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement, such as 'Agriculture and Retail sectors begin the year' (should be 'began'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, focus on reducing these small errors and increasing the variety of complex sentence forms.

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