Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph depicts the information the number of jobs,in millons , in four sectors of the us ecnomy. Manufacturing, retail, agruculture and healthcare between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing was the largest employer in 160 and 1980, but its declined after 1980. In contrast, retail and healthcare exprienced substantial growth, while agriculture saw a continuous decrease and became the smallest sector by 2020.
After analysis, it can be clearly seen that in 1960, manufacturing provided 15 million jobs, compared with about 6 million in retail ,5 million in agriculture, and only 2 million in healthcare.Peak of 17 million in 200 and 12 million in 2020
Moving further towards the remaining data, retail employment increased stedily throughout the period .In the reaching 10 million jobs in 1980 and 15 million in 2020. healthcare showed a 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, 11 million in 2000, and about 15-16 million 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you mention a 'Peak of 17 million in 200' (likely meant 2000) and '12 million in 2020' for manufacturing, which does not align with the visual data provided. Furthermore, the introduction is fragmented, and the overview lacks a clear synthesis of the overall trends. While you attempt to compare the sectors, the lack of precision in data citation and the incomplete sentence structures in the third paragraph hinder the clarity of the report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which helps the overall structure. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally mechanical or misused, such as 'After analysis, it can be clearly seen that' and 'Moving further towards the remaining data'. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the lack of proper punctuation between sentences makes the flow of information difficult to follow. Improving the use of transition signals and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'substantial growth', 'continuous decrease', and 'largest employer'. However, there are several spelling errors ('millons', 'ecnomy', 'agruculture', 'exprienced', 'stedily') and word choice issues that detract from the quality of the response. The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band. To improve, focus on accurate spelling and using more varied collocations to describe trends, such as 'plummeted' or 'witnessed a steady climb' instead of repeating basic verbs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include missing articles ('in 160' instead of 'in 1960'), incorrect verb tenses ('its declined' instead of 'it declined'), and fragmented sentences ('Peak of 17 million in 200 and 12 million in 2020'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with misplaced commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limits the score. You should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.