Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Task-1

The line chart provides information redarding the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US betwen from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is ed clear pat that manufacturing accounted for the largest number of job whereas Healthcare record the lowest number of occupation in 1960. The other remaning remaining jobs showed the moderate.

Although in 1960, the manufacturing was the most preferred job which accounted for 15 millions individed it was increase rapidly in 1980 at 20 millions people which was predominantly higher than other jobs. from 1980 to 2020 the number of manufacturing people were decline gradually i reached at which reached at 14 million. Meanwhile agriculture sector accounted for 6 million in 1960 which was similar as retail sector. It was Over the period, it was decline slightly ret the end in 2020 it reached at 3 million.

Similary, Retail The number of retail sector accounted comprid Comprised of 6million which was considerabely higher than Healthcare sector. Over the period both sector Retail and Healthcare were increase gradually which were accounted for 16million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response provides a summary of the main features, but the analysis is inconsistent. While you identify the manufacturing sector's peak and the overall trends, the reporting of data is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, you state that healthcare and retail reached 16 million in 2020, which is not clearly supported by the graph's trends. Furthermore, the description of the agriculture sector is imprecise. To improve, ensure that you accurately extract data points and compare them clearly. The overview is present but lacks clarity due to grammatical issues, making it difficult to follow the main trends across the four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and repetitive language. While you attempt to use cohesive devices like 'Although', 'Meanwhile', and 'Similarly', their application is often mechanical or grammatically incorrect, which hinders the logical progression of the text. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors. To improve, focus on using transition signals more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus. The structure is present, but the lack of smooth transitions between sentences makes the overall argument difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'redarding' (regarding), 'betwen from', and 'individed' (individuals). You rely on basic descriptors like 'increase' and 'decline' without much variation. There are also spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'considerabely' and 'Similary'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend'. Improving your precision in describing numerical data will also help convey your points more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing were decline'), incorrect verb tenses ('it was increase'), and awkward sentence structures ('it reached at which reached at'). The use of articles and prepositions is also inconsistent. While you attempt some complex sentences, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that your verbs match your subjects and that your tenses are used consistently when describing past data. Proofreading for simple errors like 'remaning remaining' would also significantly improve the quality of your writing.

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