Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Writing Practice

The linear graph stated illustrates and provide a information about the number of employment in four different sectors of the economy in the nation named U.S between 1960 as well as 2020.

Overall, what stands out from the graph that manufacturing had the highest number of jobs at the beginning of the period, while agriculture held the lowest figure at the end. Moreover, manufacturing fluctuated over the period, whereas retail and healthcare experienced significant growth.

Looking at the details, in the year 1960, manufacturing accounted for about 15 million jobs, compared with roughly 6 million in retail; furthermore, the number of manufacturing jobs then rose to around 21 million in the year 1980 before declining to approximately 18 million in 2000 and 15 million in 2020. In contrast, retail employment increased steadily from about 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980 and around 16 million in 1980. and about 16 million in 2000, reaching approximately 18 million by 2020.

Delving deeper into the details, as for agriculture and healthcare, the figures followed different trends. Agriculture started at around 6 million jobs in1960, but this number fell to about 3.5 million in 1980. It then increased slightly to approximately 4 million in 2000 before remaining almost

unchanged at around 3.5 million in 2020. By contrast, healthcare showed a clear upward trend, rising from about 2 million jobs in

1960 to 5 million in 1980 and 12 million in 2000. By 2020, the figure had increased further to approximately 18 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response effectively addresses the task by identifying the main features and trends across the four sectors. You have successfully highlighted the contrasting trajectories of manufacturing versus healthcare and retail. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the data. However, there is a minor error in the data reporting: you mention '16 million in 1980' and '16 million in 2000' for retail, which is slightly repetitive and confusing. Overall, the response covers all parts of the task well and provides sufficient data to support the main trends described.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'in contrast', 'moreover', and 'by contrast' to link ideas effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors. While the flow is generally smooth, there are some minor issues with punctuation and sentence structure, such as the fragmented sentence 'and about 16 million in 2000', which slightly disrupts the cohesion. Nevertheless, the progression of ideas remains clear throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey information with precision, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'steady growth', and 'upward trend'. There are some minor errors in word choice and phrasing, such as 'stated illustrates' (redundant) and 'a information' (incorrect article usage). While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, some collocations could be more natural. However, the vocabulary is adequate for the task and does not impede communication, allowing for a clear description of the trends shown in the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, such as 'the number of employment' (should be 'employment numbers' or 'number of jobs'), 'in the nation named U.S' (awkward phrasing), and '1960 as well as 2020' (should be 'and'). Punctuation errors, such as the period after '1980' in the middle of a sentence, also occur. While these errors are noticeable, they do not prevent the reader from understanding the information presented. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent punctuation.

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