Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The presented line demonstrate the numbers of job in four sector of US from 1960 to 2020.

The line chart illustrate the number of outside economical jobs in four sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall , expenditure in agriculture 6 millions job in 1960 to 3 million jobs in 2020, Meanwhile Retail significantly increased and had 15 millions job in 2000, while 16 million jobs in 2020. Moreover Manufacturing follows different trend 15 million jobs in 1960 , safter fell to around 17 million jobs in 2000 and 14 million jobs in 2020.

On the one hand, Agriculture decline steadily throughout the period like in 1960, 6 millions jobs to 4 millions jobs in 2020. but increase in healthcare economy 6 million jobs in 1960 constantly increase reached at around 16 millions in 2020. Despite this, in retail jobs significantly increase around 16 million jobs in 2020.

On the other hand manufacturing jobs follow completely different path. over 15 million jobs in 1960, 20 million jobs in 1980. after a slightly decrease 2000 only 15 million jobs and in 2020 which fell to around 13 millions jobs, respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the start, end, and some intermediate years. However, the report is marred by significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state agriculture went from 6 to 3 million, but later claim 6 to 4 million. You also mention retail reached 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020, but then repeat 16 million for 2020 later. The overview is weak, as it lacks a clear summary of the main trends, instead jumping straight into specific, often contradictory, figures. To improve, ensure your data points are consistent and provide a clear, high-level summary of the overall trends (e.g., the rise of service sectors vs. the decline of agriculture).

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by repetitive information and confusing transitions. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand,' which are typically used to present opposing arguments rather than describing trends in a graph. Furthermore, the paragraphing is somewhat arbitrary, as the overview is merged with specific data points, and the body paragraphs contain overlapping information. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that cohesive devices (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Furthermore,' 'Subsequently') are used to link ideas logically rather than just listing data points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'jobs' and 'million' in almost every sentence, which makes the writing monotonous. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'outside economical jobs' and 'healthcare economy,' which are not standard terminology for describing economic sectors. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and the presence of inaccurate collocations prevent the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, try to use synonyms for 'increase' (e.g., 'climb,' 'surge,' 'grow') and 'decrease' (e.g., 'decline,' 'drop,' 'fall') and learn the correct terminology for economic sectors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The line demonstrate,' 'The line chart illustrate,' 'Agriculture decline') and pluralisation (e.g., '6 millions job'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'Manufacturing follows different trend 15 million jobs in 1960 , safter fell to around 17 million jobs in 2000.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing or misplaced commas. To improve, focus on basic subject-verb agreement and ensure that every sentence has a clear main verb and subject.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.