Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph shows information about the digit if employments in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Overall, the highest manufacturing jobs started from 15 in 1900 and went approximately 20 in 1980. After the rest of the years, it decreased rapidly. The lowest employment is agriculture which started around 6 and decreased the whole years. The retail jobs started in 1900 from about 6% and increased all the years. It reached approximately 10% in 1980, after that it again increased and reached up almost 20% in 2000, in 2020 it again increased a little bit and reached around 16. The agriculture started from around 6% and decreased almost 2% and went straight to 2000, and we saw it decreased again a little bit. The healthcare is a one employment which started around 2% and went increased in every year and reached approximately 16% in 2020. The last one is manufacturing which one started form 5% in 1900 and reached 20% in 1980, after that period it decreased rapidly and reached about 13% in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors, but the data presentation is inconsistent and contains significant inaccuracies. For instance, you mention '1900' as a starting point, whereas the prompt specifies '1960'. Furthermore, you describe the same sector (manufacturing) twice with conflicting data points, and the figures provided do not accurately reflect the trends shown in the graph. While you attempt to identify main features, the lack of precision and the inclusion of incorrect data points prevent a clear summary. To improve, ensure you carefully transcribe the years and figures from the graph and avoid repeating information for the same category.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a logical structure. While there is an attempt at an overview, the body paragraphs are disorganized and repetitive. You describe the same sectors multiple times in different sections, which disrupts the flow of information. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and repetitive way, such as starting multiple sentences with 'The... started'. Paragraphing is also insufficient, as the text is largely presented as a single block of ideas. To improve, group the data by trends (e.g., sectors that increased vs. those that decreased) and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic verbs like 'started', 'increased', and 'decreased' without variation. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'the digit if employments' and 'the healthcare is a one employment', which are unnatural and imprecise. You rely on simple phrasing throughout the response. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend', and ensure you use nouns and adjectives correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the highest manufacturing jobs started from 15', 'went approximately 20', and 'the healthcare is a one employment'. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and run-on sentences. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing trends. Practicing the construction of complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'while', 'although') would also help improve your range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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