Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sector of the us economy. The sector name is manufacturing, retail, agriculture and Healthcare between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs for every time of period. although manufacturing continuously declined after 1980,by compression the employment of retail and agriculture increased continuously moreover Healthcare was only one sector show continuously declined.

In, 1960 manufacturing employment was around 15 million people . Compare with around 6 million of people in both retail and agriculture. And Healthcare had lowest number of employment its only 2 million. By 1980 manufacturing had risen to 20 million of employment and as we shows in grammar retail had 10 million of people employment and agriculture had 5 million. In addition Healthcare had lowest employment it was only around 3 millions.

From 1980 manufacturing employment had declined gradually around 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Although retail had risen continuously around 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020 , moreover agriculture also increased in 2000 it was around 11 million and same as 2020 it was 16 million people job employment and in contrast Healthcare was continuously declined it was 3 billon in 2000 and 2 billon in 2020 at the and retail and agriculture had highest employment in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that 'Healthcare was only one sector show continuously declined', which contradicts the visual data where manufacturing also declines after 1980. Additionally, the statement that 'manufacturing had the highest number of jobs for every time of period' is incorrect, as retail and agriculture surpass it by 2020. The summary of trends is present, but the lack of precision in interpreting the data points limits the score. To improve, ensure that your descriptions of the data are factually accurate based on the provided graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'by compression' (likely meant 'by comparison') and 'at the and' (at the end) disrupt the flow. The transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt, and the logical progression is hindered by the factual errors mentioned in the task achievement section. While there is an attempt to use linking words, they are not always used effectively to connect ideas logically. Improving the variety and accuracy of your cohesive devices will help achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'number of jobs' and 'employment'. There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'time of period' instead of 'time period' and 'billon' instead of 'million'. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'surged', 'plummeted') and ensure that you use technical terms correctly in the context of economic data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('Healthcare was only one sector show'), article usage ('the us economy'), and sentence structure ('In, 1960 manufacturing employment was...'). The use of complex structures is limited and often contains errors, such as 'as we shows in grammar'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and punctuation prevents a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic errors like verb tense consistency and pluralisation will significantly improve your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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