Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph represents the number of job in four sectors of economy in the US.which indicates which sector have a lot of jobs.
first of all disscussed about manuafcturing, starts from 15 million in year of 1960 , rise continous till 20 millions in the year of 1980, decrease slowly fall till 17 millions and at the end fall 13 million in the year of 2020. On the second number, retail jobstart from 5 million and increase in 1980 at 10 million. futher increase in 2000 at 15 million and minor job increase between 2000 to 2020. Third job agriculural job starts from 6 millions in 1960 and gradually decrease at 3 millions remains same in the year of [redacted phone] and at the end slightly fall in 2020 approximatley 2.5 millions.at the end healthcare jobs start from the lowest from 2 millions gradually increased at 5 millions in 1980. With the passage of time , in the year of 2020 job increase 11 millions and stop at 16 millions in year of 2020. Healthcare and retail job increase same aproximately 16 million but diffrence between them is reatail increase slightly from privious years while healthcare increase with time .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and attempts to report the main features. However, the overview is missing, which is a critical requirement for Task 1. The information is presented as a list of data points rather than a cohesive summary of trends. There is also some confusion in the data reporting, such as the contradictory statement regarding healthcare jobs ending at both 11 and 16 million in 2020. To improve, you must include an introductory overview that highlights the most significant trends, such as the overall growth in healthcare and the decline in manufacturing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response lacks clear paragraphing, which makes the text difficult to follow. While there is a basic attempt to sequence the information by sector, the transition between ideas is mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'On the second number', 'Third job', 'at the end'). The use of cohesive devices is limited and often inaccurate, which hinders the flow of the report. To reach a higher band, you should group related information into distinct paragraphs and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your sentences and ideas more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic verbs like 'increase', 'decrease', and 'fall'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'manuafcturing', 'agriculural', and 'privious', which distract the reader. Additionally, word choice is sometimes imprecise, such as 'On the second number' instead of 'Secondly' or 'In terms of'. To improve, you should incorporate a broader range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'peak', 'decline', 'gradual', and 'significant', and ensure you check your spelling carefully before submitting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retail jobstart', 'healthcare and retail job increase'), missing articles, and incorrect sentence structure. The punctuation is also inconsistent, with many run-on sentences and misused periods. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and using articles correctly. Proofreading for basic punctuation and capitalization will also significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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