Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Writing Task-I

The line graph provides information about the multiple jobs in four sectors of economy in the united states between 1960 and 2020.

overall, it is vivid that, manufacturing sector was at peak in starting but in the end year Retail and healthcare sector gained more jobs.

At the first glance, it is vivid that, quite clear that, in 1960, there were only 2 millions jobs in healthcare sector but with the growth of period in 2020 it reached to 16 millions of job. Moreover, Retail field Similarly, Retail field also showed rise in jobs from 6 millions in 1980 to 2020 at 16 millions.

Furthermore, Manufacturing and Agriculture area showed a significant decline after 1980. In manufacturing sector job remained only 13 millions and approximately 2 millions of job in Agriculture industry in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified some main features, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture, the analysis is underdeveloped. The overview is present but lacks sufficient detail to fully satisfy the requirements of an Academic Task 1 response. Furthermore, some data points are presented in a way that lacks precision, and the failure to reach the minimum length means the task is only partially addressed. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive summary of the trends and include more specific data comparisons to reach the required length.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often repetitive or mechanical, such as the repeated use of 'it is vivid that'. The flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition between the healthcare and retail sectors is abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the logical progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of depth and the brevity of the response. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical focus that connects smoothly to the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'at peak' and 'showed rise' are functional but lack the precision expected at higher band levels. There are also minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'with the growth of period' and 'multiple jobs in four sectors of economy'. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'experienced a steady climb', and ensure that your collocations are natural and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'in 1960, there were only 2 millions jobs' (should be 'million') and 'in manufacturing sector job remained' (missing articles). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the overuse of commas. The frequency of these errors, combined with the limited range of grammatical structures, prevents the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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