Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates information regarding the number of vacancies in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
In 1960, Manufacturing sector of the US accounted for 15 million jobs which goes up to 20 million in 1980 and then gradual goes down and reached around 13 million jobs by 2020. However, Retail vacancies step by step increased from around 5 million to approximately 16 million from 1960 to 2020.
In 1960, Agriculture domain jobs were 5 million which gradually decreased to around 3 million by 1980, then remains the same by 2000, jobs then slowly decreased to around 2 million by 2020. Healthcare sector accounted for approximately 2 million vacancies in 1960, then surges to almost 5 million in 1980. Vacancies goes high in healthcare sector and accounted for around 10 million in 2000. The became almost 15 million in 2020.
Overall, Two sectors retail and healthcare were low in terms of employment opportunites in 1960 and became high in 2020. While, In manufacturing sector jobs were all time high in 1960 but it became low by 2020. Agriculture sector were amongst the all time low in terms of jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the report would benefit from more precise data comparisons. For instance, instead of just listing figures for each sector, you could explicitly compare the sectors at specific time intervals (e.g., noting that by 2020, healthcare had overtaken manufacturing). The overview is present but could be more integrated into the structure to better highlight the significant shifts over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with each focusing on specific sectors. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from 1960 to 2020. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'In 1960', 'then', 'by 2020'). Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the referencing could be smoother. For example, the sentence 'The became almost 15 million in 2020' lacks a clear subject, which disrupts the flow. Improving the variety of linking words would help the text read more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'vacancies', 'sectors', 'gradually decreased', and 'surges'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'vacancies' is used interchangeably with 'jobs', which is not always accurate in an economic context. Additionally, phrases like 'step by step increased' and 'jobs then slowly decreased' are slightly unnatural. To reach a higher band, try to use more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Manufacturing sector... accounted for', 'Agriculture domain jobs were', 'Vacancies goes high'). There are also issues with articles and missing subjects, such as 'The became almost 15 million'. These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points. Increasing the accuracy of basic verb forms and articles will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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