Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Jobs are measured in millions.

Overall, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs over the past two decades, which was surpassed by retail and healthcare jobs. In contract, agriculture job has declined over the decades.

In 1960, manufacturing had the highest job with 15 million, which rose up to 20 million in 1990 and gradually declined to less than 15 million in 2020. However, Healthcare had the lowest number of jobs compare to other jobs, i.e. less than 5 million which surpassed manufacturing in 2020 with more than 20 million jobs.

In 1960, both retail and agriculture had same number of jobs with more than 5 million, as the time flew by retail job kept steady increase till 2000 and then surpassed the manufacturing job in 2020. However, the agriculture job declined for two decades and reached the lowest level of approximately 3 million job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the period. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing was the highest sector 'over the past two decades,' which is incorrect as it peaked in 1990 and declined thereafter. Additionally, stating that retail and agriculture had the 'same number of jobs' in 1960 is imprecise based on the visual data. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. Ensure you double-check the figures against the graph to avoid factual errors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'In contrast,' 'However,' and 'as the time flew by' helps guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly awkward or mechanical, such as 'as the time flew by,' which is not ideal for an academic report. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the progression of ideas between sentences remains smooth and professional.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'surpassed,' 'declined,' and 'gradually.' However, there are several word-choice errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'rose up to' (a redundancy), 'compare to other jobs' (should be 'compared to'), and 'retail job kept steady increase' (missing an article). These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the score. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring correct word forms, such as using 'employment' or 'job numbers' instead of repeating 'job' frequently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, including subject-verb agreement issues ('agriculture job has declined' instead of 'jobs have declined') and missing articles ('the' before 'healthcare' or 'manufacturing'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in sentence construction. While the meaning is clear, the frequency of these small errors prevents the writing from being considered error-free. Focusing on proofreading for pluralization and article usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

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