Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The given line graph delineates the information about the number of jobs in the four economical sector in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data is seen in numbers.

Overall, manufacturing accounted for the highest work opportunity throughout the period. However, Agriculture remained in the lowest position. Additionally, retail and healthcare sector rose to peak over the time.

In the year 1960, 15 million jobs were accounted in the manufacturing sector with slight increase in 1980 which is 20 million jobs. Hereafter, the number of manufacturing jobs decreased gradually from [redacted phone].

However, the lowest number of job is agriculture that is approximately 5 million in the year 1960 with constant decrement till 2020 that is less than 2.5 million.

Furthermore, retail jobs rose to peak starting from approximately 5 million in 1960 and reached up to 15 million by the year 2020. Lastly, healthcare sector jobs is begin with the least numbers that is 2.5 million in 1960 with a sharp increase to reach near about 15 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as manufacturing being the dominant sector and agriculture the lowest. However, the analysis is somewhat descriptive rather than analytical. For instance, you list figures for each decade without consistently comparing the sectors against one another to show their relative importance. To reach a higher band, ensure you group data points more effectively to highlight the overall trends rather than just listing statistics chronologically. The overview is present but could be more integrated with the specific data points provided in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Additionally', and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. For example, the jump between the manufacturing and agriculture paragraphs could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, but the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the sectors that showed growth (retail/healthcare) separately from those that declined (manufacturing/agriculture) to create a more cohesive narrative structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'delineates', 'accounted for', and 'constant decrement'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'economical sector' (should be 'economic sector') and 'work opportunity' (should be 'job opportunities'). The phrase 'is begin with' is grammatically incorrect and lexically imprecise. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, but it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. Examples include 'the lowest number of job is agriculture' (should be 'jobs are in agriculture'), 'healthcare sector jobs is begin' (should be 'healthcare sector jobs began'), and 'reached up to' (unnecessary preposition). There are also issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and pluralization.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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