Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line bar chart provides information about number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, from 1960 to 2020. The given sectors are Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. If we see at graph line showing the Manufacturing sector in 1960 the number of jobs provided was 15 million, which become highest in 1980 with 20 million jobs, but suddenly this sector jobs are shown in decline phase and in 2020 with approximately it is at its lowest with 13 million jobs. Furthermore, the Retail sector creates provide almost 6 million jobs in 1960 which increased with time and in 2000 hits 15 million jobs which gradually became 16 million in 2020.
Moreover, Agriculture provided 6 million jobs in 1960 which gradually decline become worst in 2020 with just 2 millions at its very lowest peak. In the end the Healthcare sector which was in 1960 at just 2 million jobs provider become 5 million jobs provider in 1980 and at the end 2020 it provided 16 million jobs as highest jobs provided by the healthcare sector.
In conclusion, this line graph provides information about number jobs provided by the four different sectors in US, from 1960 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the period. However, the overview is missing; a summary of the main trends (e.g., the growth of service-related sectors versus the decline of manufacturing and agriculture) is essential for a higher band. Some data points are described, but the comparison between sectors could be more analytical. For instance, noting that Healthcare overtook others by 2020 would strengthen the response. The report is functional but lacks a clear, high-level synthesis of the data.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'In the end', 'Moreover', 'Furthermore'). The progression of ideas is logical, but the transitions between sentences could be smoother. The concluding sentence is redundant as it merely repeats the introduction rather than summarising the main features of the graph. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would improve the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'number of jobs provided' and 'jobs in 1960' are used frequently. There are some awkward collocations, such as 'decline phase' and 'worst in 2020', which sound unnatural. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'experienced a downward trend', or 'surpassed'. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main points but lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'If we see at graph line', 'which become highest', and 'which gradually decline become worst'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly difficult to follow. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors in basic verb tense and sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage is recommended.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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