Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Overall, it can be seen that number of Jobs in healthcare sectors and retail showed increasing trend, whereas manufacturing sectors experienced drop after 1980. Moreover, Agriculture sector recorded a steady growth from 1980 to 2020.
In 1960, 15 million jobs were available which recorded the highest number among all the sectors. Whereas healthcare had approximately 2 millions job which was the lowest among all the sectors, then both experienced increasing trend in 1980. while marketing jobs were decreased gradually and it comparised approximately 14 millions jobs. In contrast, Healthcare jobs increased dramatically over a period and reached to 15 million in final year. similarly, Retail jobs also recorded up ward trend, However it started from about 6 million and reached to just above 15 millions.
The jobs in Agriculture sector were around 6 million in 1960, Then it decline to near about 3 million and it stable at same level though the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the main trends. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, you mention 15 million jobs in 1960 as the highest, but the graph shows manufacturing starting higher. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector is slightly confusing, as you state it declined and then remained stable, which is a reasonable summary, but the specific figures provided are imprecise. To improve, ensure that your data points are accurately extracted from the graph and that your comparisons are clearly linked to the specific years mentioned. The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated into the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion-like structure. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Similarly', and 'Moreover' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the sentence 'Whereas healthcare had approximately 2 millions job which was the lowest among all the sectors, then both experienced increasing trend in 1980' lacks grammatical cohesion and logical progression. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would help achieve a higher band score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'recorded', 'dramatically', and 'upward trend'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'comparised' (instead of 'comprised' or 'accounted for') and 'reached to' (the verb 'reach' does not take a preposition). Additionally, there are minor errors in pluralisation, such as '2 millions job'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring correct collocations when describing trends and data points.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the quality of the writing. Common issues include missing articles ('in healthcare sectors'), incorrect verb tenses ('marketing jobs were decreased'), and punctuation errors. For example, 'Then it decline to near about 3 million and it stable at same level' contains errors in verb form and article usage. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, consistent tense usage when describing past data, and the correct use of articles in academic writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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