Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line chart illustrate gives information the number of jobs in four stages of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall,it can be seen that the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US.The manufacturing had the largest proportion and retail accounted for the highest share.Whereas,agriculture represented the lowest proportion in the end of period.
At the first glance,the proportion of manufacturing accounted for the 20 millions in beginning period.In 1960 in 15 millions jobs had the manufacturing.The proportion of retail and manufacturing accounted for 20% and 15% jobs of the economy respectively.In addition,in 1980 in retail slightly increased at 5 millions jobs but manufacturing in 1980 to 2000 also decline at 10 millions.
Furthermore,it is clear that the agriculture accounted for 5 millions job of the economy in 1960.The retail recorded for largest share in 2020. The major change was retail approximately increased 15% of the overall figure.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the data but fails to provide a clear or accurate overview. The main features are not effectively identified, and the data points mentioned are often confusing or contradictory (e.g., mentioning both millions and percentages without clear distinction). The description of trends is imprecise, and the response lacks a logical selection of data to support the summary. The overview is incomplete, as it does not synthesize the information effectively. To improve, focus on identifying the most significant trends, such as the growth of the retail sector versus the decline of manufacturing, and ensure that the figures cited accurately reflect the graph provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is disjointed. Cohesive devices are used in a mechanical and sometimes incorrect manner, such as the awkward use of 'At the first glance' and 'Furthermore'. Referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four sectors. Paragraphing is present but does not effectively group related information, leading to a lack of logical flow. To improve, use a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensure each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'proportion', 'share', and 'number'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'recorded for largest share' and 'accounted for the 20 millions'. The student struggles to use precise terminology to describe trends, such as 'slightly increased at 5 millions jobs'. To achieve a higher band, the student should learn specific collocations for describing data, such as 'witnessed a steady decline' or 'experienced a significant surge', and avoid repeating the same phrases throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('The line chart illustrate'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or poorly constructed, such as 'The manufacturing had the largest proportion and retail accounted for the highest share.' The use of complex structures is attempted but often results in errors, such as 'In 1960 in 15 millions jobs had the manufacturing.' To improve, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction, correct verb tenses, and the accurate use of prepositions when describing data points.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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