Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates shows the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 & 2020. At first we can look into the manufacturing sector the jobs in this sector during the period of 1980 was at the peak & at the start of 1960 it was around 15 millions & by 2020 this had been gradually decresed between 10-15 million. Then coming to the retail sector which was slightly above 5 millions has increased to 15 millions which is quite high. Moving on to the agriculture sector which peaked in 1960's with a little over 5 millions has dropped between 0-5 millions in 1980 & almost had the same in 2000, then went on to drop further more by the end of the period in 2020. At last the healthcare sector which accounted to start with 0-5 millions jobs in 1960 has, then gradually increased to 10 million jobs in 1980, & again increased signicantly in the 2000's by 15 millions jobs at the end of the period it is slightly over the 15 millions mark by 2020.Taken together this graph shows the comparisons of jobs in different sector over the years [redacted phone].
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, the overview is weak; it is placed at the end rather than the beginning and is quite generic. The reporting of data is sometimes imprecise, using ranges like '0-5 millions' rather than specific figures, which hinders the clarity of the analysis. To reach a higher band, you should provide a clear, concise overview of the main trends immediately after the introduction and ensure data points are cited more accurately to support your descriptions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response lacks paragraphing, which makes it difficult to follow. It is presented as a single block of text, which negatively impacts the logical flow. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moving on to' and 'At last', they are used in a somewhat mechanical way. The progression of ideas is present but feels cluttered. To improve, you must organize your response into distinct paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs grouping the sectors logically (e.g., those that increased vs. those that decreased).
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several spelling errors, such as 'decresed' and 'signicantly', and some awkward phrasing like 'accounted to start with'. The use of symbols like '&' is inappropriate for an academic essay and should be avoided. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'dropped' repeatedly. To improve, try to incorporate more varied reporting verbs and precise adverbs to describe the trends, and ensure you use formal, full words instead of symbols.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'in US' instead of 'in the US'). There are also issues with sentence structure, such as run-on sentences and awkward punctuation. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty or unclear. The use of 'at the peak' and 'at the start of' is slightly unnatural. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for small errors like missing articles or incorrect verb forms will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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