Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES HOW ECONOMY IN THE US OVER THE PERIOD FROM 1960 TO 2020.

OVERALL, HEALTH CARE IS EVIDENT OVER THE PERIOD, WHILE RETAIL. IT IS ALSO NOTICEABLE THAT MAJOR CHANGE.

AT THE BEGINNING OF THE PERIOD HEALTH CARE IS STOOD AT APPROXIMATELY TWO COMPARED WITH AGRICULTURE AND RETAIL. HEALTH CARE THEN ROSE TO 5 MILLION BY 1980. THIS WAS FOLLOWED BY GRADUAL INCREASE REACHING 16 BY 2020. BY CONSRANT AGRICULTURE FELL FROM 6 MILLION TO 3MILLION IN 1980 ENDING AT AROUND 2MILLION BY 2020. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO FIGURES THEROFORE NARROWED OVER TIME.

TURNING TO THE REMAINING CATEGORIES, RETAIL STARTED AT 6 MILLION AND TREND TO 16 MILLION. IN PARTICULAR THERE WAS A SHARP CHANGE BETWEEN 1980 AND 2000 MEANWHILE MANFACTURING FELL FROM 15 MILLION TO 13 MILLION ALTHOUGH IT EXPERIENCED A SLIGHT FALL BY THE END OF THE PERIOD RETAIL Had highest position whereas manufacturing was at 13 MILLION. TAKEN TOGETHER THESE FIGURES SHOWS MAIN COMPARISION

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, but the presentation is fragmented. While you identify trends for the four sectors, the lack of clarity in the opening and the incomplete sentences (e.g., 'while retail') hinder the overall task fulfillment. You have attempted to compare the sectors, but the analysis is often disjointed, making it difficult to follow the progression of the data. To improve, ensure that every sentence contains a complete thought and that you clearly label the units (e.g., 'millions of jobs') consistently throughout the report to avoid ambiguity.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical flow is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'by consrant' (likely meant 'by contrast') and 'thereofere'. The transition between ideas is often abrupt, and the lack of proper punctuation makes it difficult to distinguish between separate points. To reach a higher band, you should use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and basic. You rely heavily on simple verbs like 'fell' and 'rose'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'manfacturing' and 'comparision', which detract from the professional tone required for Academic Task 1. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the lack of precision in word choice limits your score. Try to incorporate more varied synonyms for trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline', to demonstrate a more sophisticated range of language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'these figures shows'), missing articles, and incomplete sentence structures. Many sentences lack a clear subject or verb, such as 'while retail.' and 'major change.' The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a subject and a verb, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb tenses.

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