Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The information regarding the count of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United State Of America from 1960 to 2020 is depicted by the rendered line graph.
Overall, figures of employment in manufacturing and agriculture fields followed upward trend . Whereas , retail and healthcare department provided more jobs throughout the whole period of time.
As it is observed from the graph, in the initial year , the highest number of jobs recorded in the manufacture zone which was 15 millions and rapidly inclined by 5 millions in 1980 after that data speedily dropped , accounted at about 14 millions in 2020. Followed by, retail department , nearly 6 millions jobs in 1960 that was sharply rose to 15 millions during 2000 and remained almost static at 16 millions in 2020.
probing further, the figures regarding employees in healthcare sector constantly moved upward which noticed at 2.5 millions , 5 millions and above 15 in 1960,1980 and 2020 respectively. Last but not least, counts of jobs in agriculture declined from 6 millions to below 5 and remained constant till 2020 with 2.5 millions approximately.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, the student states that agriculture 'declined from 6 millions to below 5 and remained constant till 2020 with 2.5 millions', which contradicts the visual evidence of the graph. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector's peak and subsequent drop is slightly imprecise. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. The overview is present but could be more effectively integrated to highlight the most significant contrasts between the sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into four paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Whereas', 'As it is observed', and 'Last but not least', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from a general summary to specific sectoral details. However, the use of punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and periods, which occasionally disrupts the flow of the text. Better control over paragraph transitions would improve the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to describe trends (e.g., 'upward trend', 'rapidly inclined', 'remained almost static'). However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'manufacture zone' instead of 'manufacturing sector' and 'department' used inappropriately for economic sectors. Some phrasing is non-standard, such as 'count of jobs' and 'probing further'. While the range is sufficient to convey the main points, the lack of precision and occasional misuse of terminology limit the score to a 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the manufacture zone', 'in healthcare sector'), subject-verb agreement, and tense consistency. Punctuation is also problematic, with erratic spacing before and after commas and periods (e.g., 'upward trend . Whereas ,'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors in basic grammar and punctuation are noticeable and occasionally impede the reader's flow. More attention to proofreading and standard sentence construction is required.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.