Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the comparison about the number of jobs in four categories of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, jobs in the manufacturing and agriculture sectors witnessed a downward trajectory. Employment in the healthcare and retail categories showed an upward trend, with the same figures at the end of the period.

Firstly, jobs in the manufacturing sector jumped from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. In 2000, the production class faced significant growth and jumped to 20 million, and at the end of the period, employment in the manufacturing sector witnessed sharp decline and moved to 13 million in 2020. Additionally, the retail class emerged from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. In 2010, the retail sector followed an upward trend and stayed at 15 million, while in 2016 there was a slight growth, and it moved to 16 million.

Furthermore, the healthcare category faced an upward trajectory and climbed from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, surpassing the agriculture sector. There was a significant growth in 2000 when the healthcare sector created 11 million jobs. In 2020, the healthcare sector surpassed the manufacturing setup and moved to 16 million. At the end, the agriculture sector followed the downward trend and fell from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980 and remained unchanged in 2000 with 3 million jobs, while at the end of the period, agriculture sector jobs dropped to 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends effectively. You successfully highlighted the main features, such as the downward trajectory of manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in healthcare and retail. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, you stated manufacturing jumped to 20 million in 2000, which contradicts the visual data. Additionally, the description of the retail sector's growth is slightly confusing in its timeline. To reach a higher band, ensure that the data points cited are precise and that the comparisons between sectors are clearly linked to the overall trends rather than just listing figures chronologically.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', and 'Furthermore' helps guide the reader through the information. However, the progression within the paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing of specific years could be smoother. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is clear, but some sentences feel like a list of statistics rather than a cohesive analysis of the trends. Improving the flow between sentences would enhance the overall readability.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, using terms like 'downward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'surpassing'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'production class' and 'manufacturing setup', which are not standard terminology for economic sectors. While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, incorporating more precise academic collocations would elevate the response. The spelling is accurate throughout, and the vocabulary used is sufficient to communicate the main points clearly without difficulty.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While most sentences are clear, there are occasional grammatical slips, such as 'illustrates the comparison about' (should be 'illustrates the comparison of') and 'the production class faced significant growth and jumped to 20 million' (which is a bit repetitive). Punctuation is generally handled well, and the errors present do not impede communication. To achieve a higher band, try to vary your sentence structure further and ensure subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout the text.

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