Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates data about the number of jobs in four sectors in the US in a 60-years period between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, what stands out most from the graph is that these four sector jobs were in fluctuation from 1960 to 2020.

Moreover, Healthcare and Retail economy experienced a gradual increase, whereas, other two occupations saw a fall in their economy. Healthcare was the highest gaining economy in the graph.

Looking at the details, the highest economy jobs in 1960 were Healthcare and Retail. Both these occupations by economy went to an upward trend. Healthcare economy was at 2 million jobs, Furthermore, it reached to 15 million jobs in 2020. Similarly, Retail gained 6 million jobs in 1960 and it came to gain approximately 16 million occupation.

However, if we talk about manufacturing and agriculture both saw a downward trend in 2020. In 1960, Manufacturing started from 15 million jobs and decreased to 13 million. In spite of this, Agriculture economy started from 6 million jobs and came down to probably 2.5 million occupations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The student describes the trends but fails to provide a clear overview of the relative positions of the sectors at the start and end of the period. The use of the term 'economy' to describe the sectors is inaccurate, as the graph shows the number of jobs, not economic output. While the main features are reported, the comparison between the sectors could be more precise, particularly regarding the significant shift in the relative dominance of the sectors over the 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'However', and 'In spite of this' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as when the student refers to 'other two occupations' without naming them immediately. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences could be improved to create a more cohesive narrative.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. The student repeatedly uses the word 'economy' incorrectly (e.g., 'Healthcare and Retail economy'), which is a significant lexical error. Other phrases like 'highest gaining economy' are unnatural. While the student attempts to use descriptive language, the word choice is often imprecise or repetitive. To reach a higher band, the student needs to use more accurate terminology related to data description and avoid confusing economic sectors with the economy itself.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'these four sector jobs were in fluctuation' and 'it came to gain approximately 16 million occupation'. The use of articles and prepositions is occasionally inconsistent. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. The student should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of nouns in a statistical context.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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