Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the comparison about the number of jobs in four categories of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, jobs in the manufacturing and agriculture sectors witnessed a downward trajectory. Employment in the healthcare and retail categories showed an upward trend, with the same figures at the end of the period.

Firstly, jobs in the manufacturing sector jumped from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. In 2000, the production class faced a significant growth and jumped to 20 million, and at the end of the period, the employment in the manufacturing sector witnessed a sharp decline and moved to 13 million in 2020. Additionally, the retail class emerged from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. In 2010, the retail sector followed an upward trend and stayed at 15 million, while in 2016 there was a slight growth and it moved to 16 million.

Furthermore, the healthcare category faced an upward trajectory and climbed from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, surpassing the agriculture sector. There was a significant growth in 2000 when the healthcare sector created 11 million jobs. In 2020, the healthcare sector surpassed the manufacturing setup and moved to 16 million. At the end, the agriculture sector followed the downward trend and fell from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980 and remained unchanged in 2000 with 3 million jobs, while at the end of the period, agriculture sector jobs dropped to 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You successfully highlight the key shifts, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the report lacks a clear 'overview' paragraph that synthesizes the most significant trends before diving into the data. While you mention the trends in the second paragraph, the body paragraphs are somewhat data-heavy, listing figures without always highlighting the comparative significance. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview is distinct and focuses on the 'big picture' trends rather than specific data points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each focusing on specific sectors. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', and 'Furthermore' to guide the reader. However, the transition between ideas can sometimes feel mechanical. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences within paragraphs could be improved by using more varied linking phrases rather than relying on simple chronological markers. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall progression of information is easy to follow, which supports a clear summary of the provided graph.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'downward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'upward trend'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'production class' or 'manufacturing setup', which are not standard terminology for economic sectors. While these do not impede communication, they limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations related to economic data, such as 'employment figures' or 'industrial sectors', rather than using 'class' or 'setup' as synonyms for sectors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are some minor grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'illustrates the comparison about' (should be 'illustrates the comparison of') and 'emerged from 6 million' (should be 'increased from'). Additionally, some phrasing is slightly awkward, such as 'moved to 13 million'. Despite these errors, your meaning is always clear, and the punctuation is generally accurate. Increasing the variety of complex structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help you achieve a higher band score.

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