Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given line graph tracks the information about the figures of employment in four distinct sector of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
As an overview, manufacturing sector was on the top most of the time, whereas agriculture sector was the least. Moreover, retail and healthcare sector inclined in the given time period, while manufacturing and agriculture plummeted.
In detail, in 1960, the jobs in manufacturing sector was 15 millions which peaked in 1980 to 20 million. Afterwards, it further dropped gradually to approximately 8 million in 2020. furthermore, the jobs in agriculture sector was just over a 5 million in 1960 which declined significantly to 3.5 million in 1980. Moreover, then it decreased modestly by 0.5 million in 2020.
Moving towards remaining information, the jobs in retail sector was 6 million in 1960 which escalated drastically to 15 million in 2000. Afterwards, it increased slightly to 15.5 million. Finally, the jobs in healthcare sector was varied from 2.5 million in 1960 to 15.5 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that manufacturing was 'on the top most of the time' is a reasonable summary, but the description of the trends could be more precise. The data points are generally accurate, though the phrasing 'jobs in manufacturing sector was 15 millions' contains a grammatical error that slightly affects the clarity of the data presentation. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant shifts more clearly and avoids minor data inaccuracies.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Afterwards', and 'Moving towards' are used to guide the reader through the information. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the sectors based on their trends (declining vs. growing) rather than just splitting them arbitrarily. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother to achieve a more natural progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some good attempts at descriptive language like 'plummeted', 'escalated drastically', and 'declined significantly'. However, there are recurring errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'figures of employment in four distinct sector' (should be plural 'sectors') and 'jobs in manufacturing sector was' (subject-verb agreement). The range is sufficient to convey the main features of the graph, but more precise academic vocabulary would elevate the response. The repetition of 'jobs in' at the start of several sentences limits the lexical variety.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('jobs... was') and pluralization ('four distinct sector'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. The use of articles is also inconsistent, such as 'in manufacturing sector' instead of 'in the manufacturing sector'. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and that articles are used correctly with nouns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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