Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides key information about job numbers in four different fields of the united states economy from 1960 to 2020.The units are measured in millions

Overall, it is clear from the data that the number of jobs in retail and healthcare showed an increasing trend ,whereas the agriculture line showed a decreasing trend .In addition the manufacturing line showed also a significant drop.

As can be seen from the graph , in 1960 the number of jobs in retail was higher than healthcare . The two lines rose rapidly between 1960 and 2000 then they continued to rise slightly until they reached a peak of almost 15 million in 2020 .

As for the other categories, the agriculture line showed a steady decrease over the period and reached its lowest point in 2020 . As for the manufacturing number of jobs it climbed quickly from 15 million in 1960 to 25 million in 1980 then it went down to reach almost 15 million again.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. The overview is clear and highlights the key differences between the sectors. However, the analysis of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate; the data shows a peak in 1980, but the description of the subsequent decline could be more precise regarding the final figures. While the main features are reported, the comparison between sectors could be more integrated to better demonstrate the relationships between the data points over the 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In addition', and 'As for' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by ensuring that the grouping of information is more thematic. For instance, the transition between the rising sectors and the declining sectors is functional, but the flow between sentences within the paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the overall progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'increasing trend', 'decreasing trend', 'steady decrease', and 'climbed quickly'. There is an attempt to use varied language, though it remains somewhat repetitive. Some minor errors in capitalization, such as 'united states', detract from the professional tone. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise synonyms for movement and change, and ensure that proper nouns are consistently capitalized throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several punctuation and spacing errors, such as missing spaces after commas and periods (e.g., 'trend ,whereas'). There are also minor grammatical slips, such as 'manufacturing number of jobs it climbed', which is slightly redundant. The control of grammar is generally good, but the frequency of these small mechanical errors prevents a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for punctuation and sentence structure will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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