Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph provides key information about job numbers in four different fields of the united states economy from 1960 to 2020.The units are measured in millions

Overall, it is clear from the data that the number of jobs in retail and healthcare showed an increasing trend ,whereas the agriculture line showed a decreasing trend .In addition the manufacturing line also showed a significant drop.

As can be seen from the graph , in 1960 the number of jobs in the retail sector was higher than that of the healthcare sector . The two lines rose rapidly between 1960 and 2000 then they continued to rise slightly until they reached a peak of almost 15 million in 2020 .

As for the other categories, the agriculture line showed a steady decrease over the period and reached its lowest point in 2020 . As for the manufacturing number of jobs it climbed quickly from 15 million in 1960 to 25 million in 1980 then it went down to reach almost 15 million again.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. You provided a clear overview and supported your points with data from the graph. However, the report could be improved by providing more precise comparisons between the sectors at specific time intervals. For instance, while you mention the peak for retail and healthcare, you could have contrasted this more explicitly with the manufacturing sector's decline. Additionally, ensure that all data points are accurate; for example, the manufacturing sector's peak in 1980 is a key feature that was well-noted, but the overall analysis would benefit from a more integrated comparison of the four sectors throughout the period rather than treating them in separate groups.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'in addition', and 'as for', which help the flow of information. However, the use of punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with spacing before commas, which disrupts the visual flow. Some transitions are a bit mechanical, and the paragraphing could be more balanced to ensure that the comparison between sectors is more fluid. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent punctuation would help elevate the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'increasing trend', 'decreasing trend', 'steady decrease', and 'climbed quickly'. These are appropriate for describing data trends. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, and there is a lack of more sophisticated or varied lexical items that would demonstrate a higher level of control. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise synonyms for 'rise' or 'fall' and avoid repeating the same sentence structures when describing the trends of different sectors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical and mechanical errors, such as missing capital letters (e.g., 'united states'), inconsistent spacing before punctuation marks, and minor errors in article usage. These errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic punctuation rules and ensuring that proper nouns are consistently capitalized. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or participial phrases, would also be beneficial.

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