Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates changes in the number of vacancies in four different sectors in the US over a 60-year period. Overall, manufacturing showed a dramatic decline, while figures for retail and healthcare increased steadily between 1960 and 2020.
Looking at the beginning of the period, jobs in the manufacturing sector were the highest, while those of healthcare was the lowest. Numbers for agriculture and retail were at the same in the beginning at approximately 6 million. In 1980, figures for manufacturing saw its peak at 20 million, whereas retail sector's jobs had increased by a margin of 4 million. In addition, the number of jobs in healthcare sector had surpassed that of agriculture from 1960 to 1980.
During the next decades, the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector saw a sharp decline from 20 million to 13 million. Conversely the number of jobs for retail and healthcare sectors had increased steadily and equalled each other at the end of the period, at 16 million. Vacancies in the agricultural sector decreased and plateaued by 2000, at 3 million, while they showed showed another downward trend, from 3 million to 2 million, by 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points. You successfully identified the peak of the manufacturing sector and the convergence of the retail and healthcare sectors. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you stated that manufacturing peaked in 1980 at 20 million, whereas the graph shows it peaking earlier, around 1970. Additionally, the statement that retail and healthcare 'equalled each other' at 16 million is slightly imprecise based on the visual data. To improve, ensure you double-check the intersection points and peak years against the axes to maintain high accuracy in your reporting.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a summary of trends. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Conversely', 'In addition', and 'Overall' helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the initial state from the subsequent changes. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing could be smoother. For example, 'those of healthcare was the lowest' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. Overall, the information is presented in a coherent manner that is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'dramatic decline', 'steadily', and 'plateaued'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'vacancies' (which is not synonymous with 'jobs' in this context) and 'at the same in the beginning'. While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, incorporating more precise academic collocations would elevate the response. The range is sufficient to allow for some flexibility, but the occasional inaccuracies prevent it from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, such as 'those of healthcare was the lowest' (subject-verb agreement) and 'retail sector's jobs had increased' (missing article). You also have a repetitive error in the final sentence ('showed showed'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring articles are used correctly with nouns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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