Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The rendered line graph illustrate the information about that the count of the jobs in different sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. The data is calibrated in millions.
After taking the statistical data into account ,it may infer that the count of jobs in the manufacturing sector was increased rapidely from 15 million to 20 million during 1960 and 1983. However, the number of retail sector was rose dramatically from 6 million to 15 million between 1960 and 2000. Interestingly, the count of jobs in the agriculture sector was decreased modestly from 6 million to 3 million during 1960 and 1980.
Turning towards the rest of the details, the number of jobs in the agriculture sector remain stable at 3 million during 1980 and 2000. Moreover, the count of jobs in the healthcare sector rose rapidely from 3 million to 16 million.
Overall, it is rapidely apparent that the maximum number of jobs were in healthcare sector as compared to other sectors in the given time period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends in the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you mention the start and end points, you miss opportunities to compare the sectors more effectively, such as noting when sectors crossed or identifying the most significant overall change. The overview is present but lacks detail, and the final sentence contains a factual error regarding the 'maximum number of jobs' in the healthcare sector, which is not clearly supported by the data provided. To improve, ensure you group information logically and provide a more comprehensive summary of the trends rather than just listing data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'However', 'Interestingly', and 'Moreover' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the use of 'Turning towards the rest of the details' is a bit clunky. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate for a report, but ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus to improve the overall logical progression.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased', 'rose', and 'decreased' repeatedly. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the count of the jobs' (should be 'the number of jobs') and 'it may infer' (should be 'it can be inferred'). The word 'rapidely' is misspelled throughout the text. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure correct spelling and word formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'The rendered line graph illustrate' (subject-verb agreement error), 'the number of retail sector was rose' (incorrect passive voice construction), and 'during 1960 and 1983' (preposition error; should be 'between... and...'). While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions to improve accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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