Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph demonstrate the economy of United States from 1960 to 2020. This graph represents number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sector.

To begin with manufacturing, in the decade of 1980, jobs in production market was on the top. We all are aware of the fact that at that point in the time, US market was at all time high, people were shifting towards modern techniques. And we see huge number of new jobs in the manufacturing market. Over the time, as US became developed nation, manufacturing needs got saturated and eventually started decreasing. That's why we see this type of peak type curve.

While the agriculture and retail market keep growing till date. One of the major reason for this linear growth is population. Although population data is not given here but we all do know, how mankind evolve and grow over past fews decades.

Comming back to given graph, healthcare sector almost remains the same. However, Initially there is a deep but after that it just gets saturated.

In conclusion, this graph give us a glimpse of overall development of US, as these, the manufacturing, retail, agriculture and heathcare, are essential for a fruitful economy.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response4.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to provide an objective summary of the data. Instead of focusing on the trends shown in the graph, the writer introduces external knowledge and personal opinions, such as 'we all are aware of the fact' and 'we all do know, how mankind evolve'. This is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report. Furthermore, the description of the trends is inaccurate; for example, the claim that the healthcare sector 'remains the same' contradicts the visual data, and the analysis lacks specific data points or comparative figures to support the descriptions. The response does not adequately report the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'Comming back to given graph' and 'That's why we see this type of peak type curve'. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is disjointed. While there is a basic structure, the lack of clear, objective reporting makes the overall coherence feel forced and informal rather than analytical.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The writer relies on basic terms like 'market', 'jobs', and 'growth'. There are several instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'production market' instead of 'manufacturing sector' and 'deep' instead of 'dip'. The tone is overly conversational and lacks the academic register required for this task. Spelling errors such as 'Comming', 'fews', and 'heathcare' also detract from the overall quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('The graph demonstrate', 'healthcare sector almost remains'), article usage ('the economy of United States'), and sentence structure. While the writer attempts some complex sentences, they are often poorly constructed or contain errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, and the overall control of grammar is insufficient to reach a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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