Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This graph represents the number of jobs in four sectors—manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare—in the economy from 1960 to 2020 in the US. Jobs are measured in millions.
Overall, the graph shows a comparison between four different sections of the economy in the US from the year 1960 to 2020. Manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. Jobs are represented in millions.
Firstly, the manufacturing sector observes a rise from 1960 to 1980. The retail sector shows an excessive increase and contributes well to the economy from 1960 to 2000 and remains consistent till 2020. In 1960, agriculture faces a downfall in the beginning in 1960 and stays constant from 1980 to 2000. Later on, it went down in 2020. The healthcare sector contributed well during all this period from 1960 to 2000 in the economy of the US.
Therefore, we can say healthcare was one of the most effective sector than all others sectors of the economy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task but lacks the necessary detail and analytical depth required for a higher band. While you identify the four sectors, the description of trends is vague and sometimes inaccurate. For example, stating that agriculture 'faces a downfall in the beginning in 1960' is unclear, and the claim that healthcare was the 'most effective' sector is an inappropriate interpretation of data, as the graph shows employment numbers, not effectiveness. You fail to provide specific data points or clear comparative analysis between the sectors, which is essential for Task 1. To improve, focus on selecting key data points (start, end, and significant peaks/troughs) to support your descriptions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is disjointed. The second paragraph essentially repeats the information provided in the introduction, which is redundant. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Therefore', the logical flow between sentences is weak. The final sentence is a conclusion that does not follow naturally from the preceding analysis. To improve, ensure each paragraph serves a distinct purpose—introduction, overview, and specific details—and use linking words to connect your observations more fluidly rather than listing them in isolation.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You use basic descriptors such as 'contributed well' and 'excessive increase', which do not accurately describe statistical trends. There are also issues with word choice, such as using 'effective' to describe a sector's job growth, which is not appropriate in this context. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a gradual decline'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid repeating the same phrases throughout the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. For instance, 'one of the most effective sector than all others sectors' contains errors in pluralization and comparative structure. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack clear subjects. While the meaning is generally understandable, these errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of comparative adjectives (e.g., 'more effective than the other sectors'). Proofreading for basic sentence construction will help reduce these errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.