Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph depicts information about the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors of the economy in the US over a period of 60 years, from 1960 to 2020.
Overall it is clear that number of jobs decreased in manufacturing and agricultural sector, while total number of job rose in increased sharply in healthcare and retail sectors.
In 1960, manufacturing was the dominant sector to produce job with 15 million jobs, which grew more, reaching the peak of 20 million jobs in 1980, followed b y retail sector, which was accounted for 5 million jobs in the US economy and showed a substantial increase. On the other hand, the number jobs in agriculture sector decreased gradually, accounted for around 2.5 million jobs in 1980, which was approximately 5.2 million in 1960.
In the next two decades, the number in manufacturing sector fell gradually, while there was a rise in job sector of retail and overtook manufacturing sector after 2000, which represented around 15 million jobs. There was continuous decline in number of jobs in manufacturing sector, so around in 2017, the number of jobs in health care exceeded from manufacturing sector, accounted for 14 million jobs, whereas there was a modest decline in agricultural sector, reaching the bottom in 2000, accounted for nearly 1.3 million jobs. At the end, the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors was levelled, accounted for 15.2 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the data reporting is occasionally inaccurate or confusing. For instance, stating manufacturing reached a peak of 20 million in 1980 is not supported by standard interpretations of such data, and the phrasing 'the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors was levelled' is vague. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data reporting prevents a higher score. The overview is clear, but the supporting details need more careful verification against the provided graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, moving from an overview to specific sectoral trends. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the other hand' and 'In the next two decades', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'At the end' to conclude the summary. Referencing is generally clear, though the flow between sentences in the third paragraph is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing, which slightly impacts the overall progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'decreased gradually', 'rose', 'increased sharply', and 'modest decline'. There are some instances of awkward collocation or word choice, such as 'dominant sector to produce job' instead of 'job-producing sector' and 'the number of jobs... was levelled' instead of 'leveled off' or 'reached a plateau'. While the vocabulary is adequate to convey the meaning, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in manufacturing and agricultural sector'), incorrect verb forms ('total number of job rose in increased'), and awkward prepositional usage ('followed b y', 'exceeded from'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. More attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage would improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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