Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line chart depicts the millions of jobs in different four sectors of the economy in the United State from 1960 to 2020.
Looking from an overall perspective, it is clearly evident that the jobs in retail and healthcare field showed upward trend. However, in the section of manufacturing and agriculture experienced downward trend throughout the given period.
To commence with, around 15 millions jobs accounted in manufacturing, the numbers rose to 25 million in 1980, after that it declined to 13 million in the end of 2020. Moreover, retail sector represented for 6 million in initial year which grew gradually to 15 million in four decades, then it stuck at 16 million in 2020.
Following this, in 1960, 5 million jobs were available in agriculture industry, but the number of jobs reduced from 1980 to 2020 and reached to only 3 million. In addition, healthcare sector stood at around 2 million jobs in 1960 which showed significant increase and hit to 16 million in the year of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends (upward for retail/healthcare, downward for manufacturing/agriculture). However, the data reporting is inconsistent. For example, the description of manufacturing states it rose to 25 million in 1980, which is not supported by the typical interpretation of such charts, and the phrasing 'stuck at 16 million' is slightly informal. While the overview is present, the selection of data points could be more precise to better highlight the 'main features' as required by the task. The response provides a clear summary but lacks the analytical depth required for a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'Following this' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Following this' to introduce a new sector. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the sentences occasionally lacks fluidity, making the reading experience slightly disjointed in places.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'downward trend', and 'significant increase'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor errors, such as 'different four sectors' (should be 'four different sectors'), 'accounted in' (incorrect collocation), and 'represented for' (should be 'represented'). The vocabulary is functional but lacks the precision and sophistication expected at higher bands. The repetition of 'jobs' and 'million' is noticeable, though expected in a data-driven task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in retail and healthcare field'), incorrect preposition usage ('in the section of manufacturing'), and tense inconsistencies. For instance, 'the number of jobs reduced' is better expressed as 'the number of jobs decreased'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. The control over sentence structure is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, but accuracy remains inconsistent.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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