Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This line chart illustrates the number of jobs in four sector of the economy in United state between 1960 and 2020. At a glance, Manufacturing industries had highest amount jobs share.

Overall, manufacturing sector had bell shaped chart while others sector's trend were increased over the period of time except the chart of agriculture.

In detail, manufacturing industries was providing 15 million jobs in 1960, this number gone at the peak in 1980, which constitutes 20 million jobs and after next few year trend was stayed at around 13 million. According to retail line chart, it gradually increased and at last it provides nearly 16 million jobs in 2020. Agriculture companies was stands at very lowest stage to provide jobs in every year. The trend of healthcare is boosting rapidly with respect to another chart.

To sum up, healthcare and retail industries are placed at the same proportion in the year of 2020. Agriculture industries are the lowest job giver than other sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you mention the peak of manufacturing, the specific data points for other sectors are often vague (e.g., 'nearly 16 million'). The comparison between sectors is present but lacks depth; for instance, the description of agriculture as the 'lowest job giver' is accurate but could be better supported by referencing the specific figures. To reach a higher band, ensure that all key features are supported by precise data from the graph and that comparisons are more analytical rather than just descriptive.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as 'According to retail line chart' or 'with respect to another chart'. The transition between sentences could be smoother to improve the flow of information. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal cohesion within paragraphs needs more variety and precision to achieve a higher score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. Phrases like 'highest amount jobs share' and 'lowest job giver' are understandable but not natural academic English. There are also some minor errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'four sector' (should be plural) and 'United state' (should be 'the United States'). To improve, focus on using more precise terminology related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'surpassed'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'others sector's trend were increased' (subject-verb agreement and pluralisation issues) and 'Agriculture companies was stands' (incorrect verb tense and auxiliary usage). Punctuation is also inconsistent in places. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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