Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The multi-line chart illustrates the numbers of job in different four sectors - Manufacturing, retail,agriculture and healthcare in the US between 1960- 2020.
overall, Both retail and agriculture demonstrates the upward trend whereas, manufacturing follows downward trend. Healthcare seems to be constant in last years .The data of numbers given in millions.
To begin with , manufacturing stood at 15 million in 1960 , it surged in next two decades and reached at 20 million. finally, it recorded a significant downward at 13 million by 2020. In contrast, almost 5 million contribution made by healthcare sector in 1960 and it level off at almost 3 million in the next following decades.
Regarding the remaining sectors, Both retail and agriculture sectors follows the upward trend after witnessed some fluctuations over the given period. in 1960, retail accounted at 5 million whereas, agriculture contributed around 3 million , which was a minimal difference between them . after some fluctuations , retail and agriculture stood at approximately
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the analysis is incomplete as the essay ends abruptly mid-sentence, failing to provide a final comparison or a complete overview of the data. While the overview attempts to summarize the trends, it contains factual inaccuracies regarding the data (e.g., stating healthcare was constant, when the graph shows a decline). The reporting of figures is somewhat inconsistent, and the lack of a conclusion or completion of the final point significantly impacts the overall task achievement. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately interpreted and the response is fully completed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is disrupted by the incomplete ending. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'In contrast', and 'Regarding the remaining sectors', which help structure the response. However, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the mechanical nature of the transitions limits the score. The abrupt termination of the text at the end prevents a coherent conclusion, which is a major issue for cohesion and progression. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that the essay reaches a logical, complete conclusion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'numbers of job' instead of 'number of jobs', 'recorded a significant downward' instead of 'downward trend', and 'level off at almost 3 million' which does not accurately describe the trend shown. The vocabulary is generally repetitive, and the student relies on basic descriptive terms. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that the vocabulary used accurately reflects the data presented in the graph.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'Both retail and agriculture demonstrates' (subject-verb agreement error), 'the numbers of job in different four sectors' (word order), and 'after witnessed some fluctuations' (missing subject/incorrect verb form). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally clear, these frequent errors indicate a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct sentence construction will help improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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