Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in US across four different sectors from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the two most popular categories was healthcare and retail sector. The rate of jobs in healthcare and retail experienced most significant growth throughout the period. While the other two sectors followed the opposite trend.
In 1960, jobs in healthcare was about 2 million, which increased gradually to 5 million by 1980. The trend remained same until reaching to just over 15 million by 2020.Whereas the retail sector had jobs of just of 5 million in 1960, which inclined steadily to slightly more than 15 million by 2020.
The manufacturing division had jobs of 15 millions in 1960 which decreased incrementally to below 15 million by 2020 before saw a dramatic increase of 20 million in 1980.While the agriculture sector which had jobs of slight more than 5 million decreased substantially to approximately zero by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing had a 'dramatic increase of 20 million in 1980', which is not supported by the visual data provided. Additionally, the description of the trends is somewhat over-generalized. To reach a higher band, ensure that the data points cited are accurate and that the comparison between sectors is more precise. The overview is present but could be more clearly linked to the overall trends observed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the abrupt transition 'While the other two sectors followed the opposite trend' at the end of the second paragraph. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the data points more fluidly. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'significant growth', and 'inclined steadily'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'jobs of just of 5 million' and 'before saw a dramatic increase'. These errors do not impede communication but indicate a need for more precise control over academic vocabulary. To improve, focus on using more varied reporting verbs and nouns to describe trends, and ensure that prepositions are used correctly with numerical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the two most popular categories was') and verb tense consistency. Some sentences are fragmented or contain awkward phrasing, such as 'the trend remained same until reaching to just over'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency of the writing. Increasing the accuracy of basic sentence construction should be a priority.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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