Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts information about the number of jobs in the manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors of the economy in the US over a period of 60 years, from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that the number of jobs decreased in the manufacturing and agriculture sectors, whiles it rose in the retail and healthcare sectors.

To begin with the retails and health-related sector, the retail provided around 6 million jobs in 1960, which rose sharply in overall period and overtook the manufacturing sector in 2005, accounted for 15 million jobs and reaching peak of 16 million jobs in 2020. The healthcare sector stood 2.5 million in 1960, which showed a sharp increase and exceeded agriculture sector in next decade and followed further rose surpassed manufacturing sector in last decade, accounted for 16 million jobs in 2020, which was equal to the retail sector.

On the other hand, the manufacturing sector was dominant in 1960 and accounted for 15 million jobs, which grew sharply and reaching the peak of 20 million jobs in 1980. In last 40 years, the manufacturing sector began to fall and reached the bottom at 13 million jobs in 2020. The agriculture sector first stood at 6 million and showed a sharp decline, accounted for 3 million jobs in 1980, which stayed constant for two decades and in 2020 it hit its lowest point, which was 1 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends and key data points. You successfully highlighted the shift from manufacturing and agriculture to retail and healthcare. However, the report could be improved by ensuring the data points are more precise and the comparisons are more fluid. For instance, stating that the healthcare sector 'followed further rose' is grammatically unclear and makes the comparison difficult to follow. While you identified the main features, a more analytical approach to the 'crossover' points (where sectors overtake one another) would strengthen the response. Overall, you have provided a clear summary that addresses the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'In last 40 years' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'followed further rose surpassed'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the healthcare sector's growth. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the text. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally to connect sentences and clauses.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'depicts', 'sector', 'accounted for', and 'declined'. There are some instances of awkward phrasing or word choice, such as 'followed further rose' and 'reached the bottom', which slightly detract from the precision of the report. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the sophistication and flexibility required for a higher band. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and avoid repetitive structures when describing trends and data changes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'whiles it rose' (should be 'while'), 'the retails and health-related sector' (should be 'retail and healthcare sectors'), and 'stood 2.5 million' (missing 'at'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and verb tense consistency. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the information, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing numerical data.

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