Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates the information regarding the availability of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in America the year of 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident from the graph that manufacturing sector provide higher number of jobs than other three sectors.
In 1960, manufacturing and retail sector offered 15 million and around 6million job vacancies in US. However, both sectors showed gradual inclined throughout the period till 1980 via 20 million and 10 million .Afterwards, number of positions dropped in manufacturing sector after 1980 and stood at approximately 13million post whereas, retail sector leveled off at around 16 million in 2020.
Moving further, the positions in Agriculture sector fell across the years as it was around 6 million in 1960 than declined by 3 million after twenty years and stood at about 2 million in the last given year. Like wise in Healthcare sector positions for workers expanded in every year that started from around 2 million in 1960 and stayed at around 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that the manufacturing sector provided a higher number of jobs than the others throughout the period is incorrect, as the retail and healthcare sectors eventually surpass it. The data reporting is generally clear, but some figures are imprecise or lack necessary context. To improve, ensure the overview captures the most significant long-term trends rather than just a snapshot, and double-check the data points against the graph to ensure accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'However,' 'Afterwards,' and 'Moving further,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'via 20 million' and 'post whereas.' The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more naturally connected.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with terms like 'job vacancies,' 'positions,' and 'sectors' used correctly. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'gradual inclined' (should be 'gradual incline' or 'gradually increased') and 'leveled off at' (which is used correctly, but the overall range of vocabulary is somewhat limited). There are also minor errors in phrasing, such as 'in the last given year.' To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure correct word forms are used consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('in manufacturing sector,' 'in Agriculture sector'), incorrect prepositions ('in the year of 1960 to 2020'), and awkward phrasing ('provided higher number of jobs'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency. To improve, focus on article usage and subject-verb agreement, and practice constructing more complex sentences with greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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