Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
the given graph illustrates the change in the number of jobs in four sectors, this graph showed information for United States, over the period of 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that agriculture jobs are in lowest numbers, due to the scarcity of agricultural land and deteriorate in agriculture environment, whereas healthcare and retail jobs have gained a strong position in the following years, and they skyrocketed in upward trend as years passed on. Another key point in this graph is manufacturing which showed a downward trend from 80s, this gradually decreased below to its starting point.
Furthermore, retail jobs and healthcare jobs started at around 5 million in 1960 their growth have exponentially increased to 15 million creating more than 10 million of jobs, this can mainly because of population growth, whereas manufacturing started a great point where they have 15 million of jobs till 1980 everything was good but as years passed on it depreciated to 13 million jobs, which is bad for country GDP, lastly agriculture remained at the lowest in all four sectors,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You include personal opinions or external explanations not found in the data, such as 'scarcity of agricultural land' and 'bad for country GDP'. In IELTS Task 1, you must strictly report the data provided without adding external knowledge or subjective commentary. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in data reporting (e.g., 'around 5 million' is acceptable, but the overall analysis lacks a clear, comparative overview) limits the score. Ensure you focus solely on the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the flow is hindered by awkward sentence structures and run-on sentences, such as 'the given graph illustrates the change in the number of jobs in four sectors, this graph showed information...'. The use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as the transition 'this can mainly because of'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, making the reader work harder to follow the comparison between sectors. Improving the use of linking words and punctuation would significantly enhance the clarity of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'exponentially increased', 'skyrocketed', and 'depreciated'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'deteriorate in agriculture environment' and 'started a great point'. These errors occasionally impede the natural flow of the text. To reach a higher band, focus on using vocabulary that is more precise and contextually appropriate for describing statistical trends, rather than attempting overly complex phrases that may be used incorrectly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include comma splices (e.g., '...four sectors, this graph showed...'), subject-verb agreement errors ('agriculture jobs are in lowest numbers'), and tense inconsistencies. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. You should focus on mastering basic sentence punctuation and ensuring that your verb tenses remain consistent when describing historical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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