Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the retail and agriculture sectors witnessed the upward trend, while the healthcare and manufacturing fields showed the downward trajectory.
Firstly, the manufacturing sector surged from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector jumped from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. The healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.
In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline in 2000 and stood at 12 million in 2000 while moving to 12 million in 2020 by following the downward trend. Moreover, the retail sector followed the upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field in 2020 and climbing to 12 million. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed inclined growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class in 2020 and contributed to 12 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture remained unchanged in 2020 and stayed at 3 million as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview and identifies key trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state the agriculture sector witnessed an 'upward trend', whereas the graph shows a clear decline. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector's trajectory is confusing and contradictory, stating it moved to 12 million in 2020 while also claiming it was surpassed by other sectors in a way that does not align with the visual data. To improve, ensure that your summary of trends is strictly supported by the provided figures and avoid misinterpreting the direction of the lines.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore'. However, the flow of information is occasionally hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section, which makes the progression of ideas feel disjointed. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the two main body paragraphs could be smoother to better reflect the chronological shift from 1980 to 2020.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'downward trajectory', 'surpassed', and 'accounted for'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'inclined growth' and 'manufacturing class'. While these do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise collocation. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' beyond 'jumped' or 'showed a decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the grammar is generally functional, there are some errors in tense consistency and preposition usage, such as 'contributed to 12 million' (should be 'reached' or 'stood at') and 'as compared to 2 million at the end of the period' (which is logically confusing given the context). Most sentences are understandable, but the control over complex structures is not yet consistent enough for a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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