Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the retail and agriculture sectors witnessed the upward trend, while the healthcare and manufacturing fields showed the downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector surged from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector jumped from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. The healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline in 2000 and stood at 12 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020 by following the downward trend. Moreover, the retail sector followed the upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field in 2020 and climbing to 12 million. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed inclined growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class in 2020 and contributed to 12 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture remained unchanged in 2000 and stayed at 3 million as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the upward and downward trajectories correctly. You have selected key features and made relevant comparisons between sectors. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that the manufacturing sector surged to 20 million by 1980, whereas the graph shows it peaking earlier and declining by 1980. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector as having an 'upward trend' in the overview contradicts the specific data provided later, where you correctly identify a decline. To improve, ensure that your overview accurately reflects the entire period and double-check your data points against the graph to avoid factual inconsistencies.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on different time periods. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Finally' to guide the reader. However, some of the transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally confusing, particularly when comparing sectors across different time frames. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal cohesion within the second body paragraph could be improved by grouping information more effectively rather than listing data points sequentially.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'downward trajectory', 'surged', and 'accounted for'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'inclined growth' or 'manufacturing class', which do not fit the context of economic sectors perfectly. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band. To reach a higher score, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring that your word choices are contextually accurate for describing statistical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. Most of your sentences are clear and easy to follow. There are some minor grammatical errors, such as 'the data about' (should be 'data on') and 'the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline' (the article 'the' is unnecessary here). Additionally, some phrasing is slightly awkward, such as 'contributed to 12 million'. Despite these errors, your grammar does not impede communication, and you show a good level of control over basic sentence construction.

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