Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the retail and agriculture sectors witnessed the upward trend, while the healthcare sector followed the upward trajectory, but the manufacturing field showed the downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector surged from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector jumped from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. The healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline in 2000 and stood at 12 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020 by following the downward trend. Moreover, the retail sector followed the upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field in 2020 and climbing to 16 million. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed inclined growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class in 2020 and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture remained unchanged in 2000 and stayed at 3 million as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided relevant data points for all four sectors. The overview clearly contrasts the growth in retail and healthcare against the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, there are some inaccuracies in your reporting of the data. For instance, you state that the manufacturing sector surged to 20 million by 1980, whereas the graph shows it peaking earlier and declining by 1980. Additionally, your description of the agriculture sector as having an 'upward trend' in the overview contradicts the data, which shows a clear long-term decline. More careful attention to the specific data points on the graph is needed to ensure full accuracy.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on different time periods. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' to link your ideas. However, some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the progression of ideas within the paragraphs could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, but the overall flow is occasionally hindered by the repetitive structure of the sentences, which makes the text feel a bit list-like rather than a cohesive analysis.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'surged', 'sharp decline', 'upward trajectory', and 'inclined growth'. While these are appropriate for a task of this nature, there is some repetition of basic verbs and phrases (e.g., 'moved to', 'showed the...'). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise collocations and varied reporting verbs. For example, instead of 'showed inclined growth', you could use 'experienced steady expansion'. There are no significant spelling errors, and the vocabulary used is generally accurate and fits the context well.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While most sentences are clear and easy to follow, there are some minor grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'the retail and agriculture sectors witnessed the upward trend' (the definite article 'the' is unnecessary here) and 'contributed to 16 million' (which is slightly unnatural in this context). You use a variety of structures, but the control over these is not entirely consistent. The punctuation is generally correct, and the errors present do not impede communication, which is a positive aspect of your writing.

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