Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the retail and agriculture sectors witnessed the upward trend, while the healthcare sector followed an upward trajectory, but the manufacturing field showed the downward trajectory.
Firstly, the manufacturing sector surged from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector jumped from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. The healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.
In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline and stood at 12 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture remained unchanged in 2000 and stayed at 3 million as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the overview states that retail and agriculture witnessed an upward trend, but the data shows agriculture declined significantly over the period. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing sector is contradictory, claiming it surged to 20 million in 1980 while the graph shows a different trend. While the main features are identified, the misinterpretation of the data points prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that the summary accurately reflects the visual information provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on different time periods. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section. The referencing is generally clear, and the paragraphing is appropriate for an academic report. The use of cohesive devices is functional, though at times a bit mechanical.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'upward trajectory', 'surged', 'sharp decline', and 'accounted for'. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, though some collocations are slightly unnatural, such as 'contributed to 16 million' or 'manufacturing class'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Spelling is accurate throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are grammatically correct, there are some awkward phrasings and minor errors, such as 'the upward trend' (should be 'an upward trend') and 'the manufacturing class' (which is not the correct term for a sector). Punctuation is generally handled well. The control of grammar is sufficient to ensure that the reader understands the message, but the range of complex structures is somewhat limited, and errors persist in article usage and word choice.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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