Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the agriculture sectors witnessed the upward trend at the initial stage but then declined sharply, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the manufacturing field showed the downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector jumped from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. The healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline and stood at 12 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture remained unchanged in 2000 and stayed at 3 million as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you mentioned agriculture witnessed an upward trend initially, but the data shows it declining from the start. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector is somewhat contradictory, as you describe a downward trajectory in the overview but then detail an initial jump. To improve, ensure your overview accurately reflects the entire period and avoid minor factual inconsistencies when summarizing the data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs covering different time periods. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' helps guide the reader through the information. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing could be more varied. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the connection between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother to ensure a more cohesive flow of information throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'surpassed'. There is an attempt to use less common items, which is positive. However, there is some repetition of the word 'jumped' and 'moved to', which limits the sophistication of the writing. To reach a higher band, try to vary your verbs and nouns for describing change (e.g., 'plummeted', 'surged', 'gradual increase', 'fluctuated'). The word choice is generally accurate and does not impede communication, but it lacks the precision required for a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While most sentences are clear, there are some minor grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'the agriculture sectors witnessed the upward trend' (should be 'the agriculture sector witnessed an upward trend') and 'contributed to 16 million' (which is slightly unnatural in this context). Punctuation is generally correct, and the errors present do not impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on article usage and ensuring subject-verb agreement, as well as incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate greater control.

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