Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the agriculture sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching the peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the manufacturing field showed the downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector jumped from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. The healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline and stood at 12 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture remained unchanged in 2000 and stayed at 3 million as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you stated that agriculture 'witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage' and 'reached the peak', which contradicts the provided data showing a consistent decline. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector as having 'jumped' in the first period is accurate, but the overall summary of trends needs to be more precise to align with the visual evidence. Ensure that your overview accurately reflects the general direction of each category.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving chronologically through the periods. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' to link your sentences. However, some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by varying the structure of your cohesive links rather than relying on a list-like approach. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to a coherent response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'accounted for'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'manufacturing class' or 'healthcare category', which are not the most precise collocations for economic sectors. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, there is a tendency to repeat the same verbs like 'jumped' and 'moved' multiple times. To reach a higher band, focus on using more varied and precise synonyms to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'experienced a steady rise'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'illustrates the data about' (which should be 'illustrates data on') and 'contributed to 16 million' (which is an awkward use of 'contributed'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You have good control over basic sentence structures, but your use of complex sentences is sometimes slightly forced or inaccurate. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and more natural prepositional usage will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.