Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching the peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field showed the downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector jumped from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. The healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline and stood at 12 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture remained unchanged in 2000 and stayed at 3 million as compared to 2 million at the end of the period

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the manufacturing peak and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the report could be improved by grouping the data more logically rather than just listing figures chronologically. For instance, comparing the sectors that grew versus those that declined would provide a more analytical overview. The overview paragraph is clear and accurately summarizes the main movements, which is a strong point. To reach a higher band, ensure that comparisons between sectors are more explicit throughout the body paragraphs rather than just stating individual figures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. You use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' to link your ideas. While the progression is generally clear, some of the transitions feel slightly mechanical. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the information is easy to follow. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the relationship between the data points is more fluidly connected, rather than relying on a list-like structure for each sector.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'steady growth'. There is some repetition of the word 'jumped' and 'moved', which limits the sophistication of the response. Using more precise verbs like 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'fluctuated' would enhance the lexical variety. The terminology used for the sectors is accurate, and there are no significant spelling errors. To achieve a higher score, focus on using less common collocations and synonyms to avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are clear and error-free, though there are occasional minor slips, such as 'contributed to 16 million' (which is slightly unnatural in this context) and 'as compared to 2 million' (which is a bit clunky). Punctuation is generally accurate. You have good control over basic grammar, but to reach a higher band, you should incorporate a wider variety of complex structures, such as relative clauses or participle phrases, to show greater flexibility in your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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