Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph illustrates information about employments in four sectors Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare in United State, over the period of 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that retail and healthcare have showed an exponential growth as years passed, and surpass the manufacturing industry, a striking feature of the data is that manufacturing went to certain peak point, and started declining after that, at a glance, it is also apparent that agriculture employments stayed at the bottom due to deterioration of environment.

Looking first at manufacturing category, it can be seen that 15 millions of employments were present in 1960, before rising to 20 million in 1980, after reaching its max point it declined in next 40 years it showed a drastic downfall to 13 million jobs, in comparison, healthcare department followed an exponential trend, less than 5 millions jobs were available in 1960 and in next 60 years it surpasses the manufacturing reaching up to 17 million jobs, over the course of the period, this represented a growth in this sector.

Turning to retail sector, the figure is similar to healthcare sector, rose from 5 million to 17 million in period of six decades, in contrast agriculture remained at the bottom line reaching to 5 million , and gradually decreased to 2.5 million in six decades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in manufacturing. However, the analysis is slightly hampered by some inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, stating that agriculture reached 5 million and then decreased to 2.5 million is a bit vague, and the claim that agriculture remained at the bottom 'due to deterioration of environment' introduces external information not present in the graph, which is a minor task achievement issue. The overview is clear, but the report could be more precise in its comparisons to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'in comparison', 'turning to', and 'in contrast', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the sentence structure in the second paragraph is slightly run-on, which affects the flow. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be more cohesive to ensure a smoother progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task. You use some good descriptive terms like 'exponential growth', 'drastic downfall', and 'surpasses'. However, there are some word choice errors, such as 'employments' (which should be 'employment' or 'jobs') and 'department' (when referring to an economic sector). There is also a lack of variety in reporting verbs. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for economic trends and ensure correct noun forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the' is often missing) and punctuation. For example, 'in United State' should be 'in the United States', and there are several comma splices where independent clauses are joined incorrectly. These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the data. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammar and refining complex sentence construction will help improve this score.

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