Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching the peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field showed a downward trajectory.
Firstly, the manufacturing sector jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector jumped from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. The healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.
In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline and stood at 12 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture remained unchanged in 2000 and stayed at 3 million as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and comparing the four sectors over the specified period. You have successfully highlighted the key shifts, such as the rise of the healthcare and retail sectors and the decline of agriculture. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the main features. However, to reach a higher band, ensure that the data points are consistently accurate and that the comparisons are more nuanced. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector's peak could be more precise regarding the specific year or period it occurred to better reflect the visual data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group information chronologically. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' helps to guide the reader through the information. However, the progression within the paragraphs is sometimes slightly mechanical. To improve, try to vary the linking phrases and ensure that the transition between sentences feels more natural rather than just listing data points. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and the information flows well.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'steady growth'. These are appropriate for an academic report. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'manufacturing class' or 'agriculture field', which are slightly unnatural in this context. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations related to economic data. While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, incorporating a few more sophisticated or varied terms would help elevate the response to a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are clear and easy to follow, and the grammatical errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. There are some minor issues with preposition usage and article placement, such as 'at the initial stage' or 'in one period'. While you have attempted complex structures, ensuring greater precision in tense usage and sentence variety will help. The punctuation is generally accurate, and the overall control of grammar is solid for this level.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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