Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching the peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field showed a downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector jumped from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. The healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline and stood at 12 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture remained unchanged in 2000 and stayed at 3 million as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the four sectors. You selected key data points to support your descriptions, such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and the final figures in 2020. However, the response could be improved by grouping the data more effectively. For instance, instead of splitting the analysis strictly by time periods (1960-1980 and 2000-2020), you could group sectors by their overall trajectory (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined). This would allow for more sophisticated comparisons between the sectors rather than just listing figures chronologically.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore' to guide the reader. However, some of the transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be more refined. For example, the second body paragraph is quite dense with data points; breaking this down or using more varied linking phrases would improve the flow. Referencing is generally clear, though the repetition of 'the [sector] sector' at the start of many sentences makes the writing feel a bit formulaic.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'steady growth'. You also use some precise terminology like 'surpassed' and 'accounted for'. To reach a higher band, try to avoid repeating the same sentence structures and vocabulary (e.g., 'jumped from... to...'). Incorporating more varied synonyms for 'increase' or 'decrease' and using more sophisticated collocations would enhance the lexical quality. Overall, the vocabulary is accurate and appropriate for the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and your control of grammar is generally good. Most sentences are error-free, and your punctuation is consistent. There are minor issues with word choice and phrasing, such as 'the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline' (should be 'a sharp decline') and 'contributed to 16 million' (which is slightly unnatural in this context). While you show a good command of basic and some complex structures, increasing the variety of your sentence patterns would help demonstrate greater flexibility.

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