Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching the peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field showed a downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector jumped from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. The healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline and stood at 17 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture remained unchanged in 2000 and stayed at 3 million as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You have successfully identified the main features and made relevant comparisons, such as noting when the healthcare sector surpassed agriculture. However, the report is slightly mechanical in its structure, focusing heavily on specific data points for 1980 and 2000 rather than synthesizing the trends more fluidly across the entire 60-year period. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview highlights the most significant shifts more holistically, rather than just listing changes by decade. The data is accurately reported, and the key features are well-selected.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Finally' helps to guide the reader through the data. However, the progression within the paragraphs feels somewhat repetitive, as many sentences follow the same 'subject + verb + data' structure. To improve, try to vary the way you link information and use more sophisticated referencing to avoid repeating the sector names so frequently. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the overall structure is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'steady growth'. The use of 'surpassed' and 'accounted for' is appropriate for an academic report. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, with the word 'jumped' used four times. To achieve a higher score, incorporate more varied synonyms for movement and change, such as 'soared', 'plummeted', 'fluctuated', or 'remained stable'. While the current range is adequate for the task, increasing the variety of your verbs and nouns will demonstrate greater flexibility and precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are clear, and the grammar is generally accurate. There are a few minor issues, such as 'the manufacturing sector witnessed the sharp decline' (where 'a' is unnecessary) and 'contributed to 16 million' (which is slightly awkward phrasing). You have good control over basic structures, but to reach a higher band, try to incorporate more complex sentence forms, such as using participle clauses (e.g., 'rising to 16 million by 2020') to improve the flow and reduce the reliance on simple 'subject-verb' constructions. Punctuation is generally correct throughout.

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