Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors; Manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of economy in US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the growth rate of jobs in retail and healthcare have been increasing with the passage of time from 1960 to 2020. Whereas, the manufacturing area has always on the top from 1960 to 1980 with about 15 millions to 20 millions of jobs. On the other hand, the jobs percentage in agriculture area has been decreasing gradually from 1960 to 2020.
Although, it seems that there have been a significant increasing with around 3 millions occupations in healthcare sector and above 5 millions jobs in retail sector in 1960. Then it has been rapidly increasing from 1960 to 2020 with around 15 millions jobs.
While, the manufacturing side was always on the top from 1960 to 1980 with 15 to 20 million jobs.
Then it has been decreasing from 1980 to 2020.
On the other hand, the work in agriculture was above 5 millions in 1960 then it have been gradually going down till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the upward trends in healthcare and retail and the downward trend in agriculture. However, the description of the manufacturing sector is somewhat confusing, as the text states it was 'on the top' from 1960 to 1980 but fails to clearly contrast this with its subsequent decline. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the data. Some figures are mentioned, but the analysis of the trends is slightly repetitive and lacks precision in comparing the sectors effectively. To improve, ensure that the main trends are clearly contrasted rather than listed in isolation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'While', and 'On the other hand' is sometimes mechanical or grammatically incorrect, such as starting a sentence with 'Although' without a following main clause. The paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs is fragmented, with several very short sentences that disrupt the flow of information. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the overall coherence of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive. Phrases like 'increasing with the passage of time' and 'going down' are basic. There are also some minor errors in word choice, such as 'manufacturing area' instead of 'manufacturing sector' and 'occupations' used where 'jobs' or 'employment figures' would be more appropriate. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'experienced a steady decline', and avoid repeating the same sentence structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'the growth rate... have been increasing' (subject-verb agreement error), 'manufacturing area has always on the top' (missing verb), and 'there have been a significant increasing' (incorrect noun form). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and semicolons. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors occur frequently enough to cause some distraction. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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